The Morning Shit That Lied to Me (poop talk)

I used to think I was fine because I took a healthy shit every morning.
Clockwork. Consistent. Like that meant something. Like I meant something.

Stupid motherfucker. I am not bulletproof, nor do I own a Denali.

I waited until I was 58 to get a colonoscopy. Fifty‑fucking‑eight.
Not for lack of access. Not because no one told me.
But because I thought I didn’t need to.
Too proud. Too busy. Too scared.
Because I told myself:
Healthy bowel = healthy man.

That lie nearly killed me.

The truth is brutal: colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer in the U.S. and the second deadliest overall killing about 52,900 Americans in 2025 alone.[1]
Every year, around 37 new cases and 13 deaths per 100,000 population occur.[2]

Screening slashes incidence by 33% and mortality by 43%.[3] With colonoscopy alone, death rates dropped nearly 50% since the 1980s.[4]

But that drop only happened because people got tested.
And because of me? I didn’t.

If I’d had that colonoscopy at 40 (or even 50), what could’ve been a six‑month bump would’ve stayed just that.
Instead, waiting turned it into a death‑sentence cliff.

My ignorance isn’t an anomaly. Cases in people under 50 are rising, up nearly 15% between 2000 and 2016 among those 40‑49.[5] Even Millennials have double the risk of Boomers.[6]

Here's the deal:

People with early detection have a 90%+ five-year survival.[7]
If discovered late, survival drops below 15%.[8]
Every 4‑week delay in starting treatment raises mortality risk by about 7–23%.[9]

Let me say this plain:
Don’t wait.
The “start at 50” guidelines are outdated.
The U.S. now says begin at 45. Taiwan shows starting at 40 cuts cases by 21% and deaths by 39%.[10]

I don’t care what your doctor suggests.
Push. Demand. Insist.
Start screening by 40, especially if you smoke, drink, are overweight, or have family history.
If colonoscopy scares you, use a FIT or stool test annually. If that flags something? Colonoscopy is mandatory.[11]

Do not trust your morning shit.
That’s a fool’s pact.

Don’t be me. Don’t be the man who thought he was bulletproof, until he wasn’t.

This isn’t about fear. It’s about love.
Love yourself enough to do the thing you don’t want to do.

Get the test. Get the fuck ahead of it.

Because the only thing worse than a camera up your ass
is a coffin.